Laughing until I cry. :D

The older I get the worse my memory becomes. My childhood memories, are blobs, and even last week is hazy. Apparently I'm a drugless druggie, with no memory storage. (!)

"I pee in you bed"

Related to me by a histerical mother and sisters is this story of Ephriam, 2nd to youngest, and quiet the character.

Apparently Ephy wasn't having a very good night, he had been crying and screaming. Joelle (my younger sister.) took him down to her bed and tried to get him to calm down and go to sleep... When Ephraim finally realized he was not going anywhere he momentarialy stopped crying, looked at Joelle, and with attitude said: "I pee in'youw bed." Joelle, checking the sheets, said "nah-uh, you didn't pee in my bed." that happened 3 more times until Joelle felt around him again to find that yes, he (proudly) had peed in Joelle's bed, and had promptly gone to sleep.

Now everytime he goes up to mom after sleeping in Joelle's bed, and having an accident, he says with attitude: "I pee in'hur bed!"

(Your missing out on the head bob, Ephraims accent, and the repeating of the line "I pee in youw bed" ... come over and you will get the full laughable story.)

Stepping into Procrastination

I should probubly start blogging more often, I don't keep a journal, and honestly I hate posting on facebook ALL the exciting things I experiance in life.

So this is my catch up:

1. I've lost 30 lbs in the past 5 weeks. I started the HCG diet, stuck too it, and (winningly) lost! It's been rough and maintenance is going to be hard, but I'm going to finish this and never look back at that weight.

Why you may ask? I want to be active again. Zach, my sweetheart is active and I would like to have an active family. I want to camp, hike, do martial arts, climb rock walls, and really experiance life.

I feel I'm somehow changing with this weight loss, I feel happier, more loved, more accepting, and ultimatly more confident in me. Seperation (long distance relationship folks!) is easier to deal with and I look in the mirror now and I'm very happy.

My next goal is to run a 5K or 10K by May/June-ish. I can do it! (Plus I can eat whatever I want in those situations!)

2. I'm falling in love. Being in love is wonderful! Zach and I have been dating for a 1 and a half now, how was I not in love? The first year of a relationship is trully the honeymoon phase, it's romantic, filled with butterflies and kisses. We are past that stage. We have argued. We have fought. We've have not spoken to each other for a week. But through those hard parts of a relationship, something even more beautiful has begun to blossom. Real love, the kind you only understand through his touch, the way you speak to each other, and the way you love even a 100 miles apart. It's indescribable (YES, I'm a hopeless romantic!) and amazing. I know Zach so much better than when we first started dating, we disagree on things, but we understand each other, we can share anything together and ultimatly he is the person I hope to spend the rest of my life with.

3. I'm going on vacation to Pennsylvania and Wisconsin this summer! 2 weeks in PA with my Grandparents, enjoying the beach house and touring Philly, and DC. and 2 weeks in Milwakee with Zach's family reunion (Forciea July :P) To be blunt: I'm SO EXCITED!

4. I am going to be graduating this spring! Finally I did it! After dropping out a semester, and going to summer school I am finally going to get my asscociates degree. I'm not sure what exactly I am going to study but I will finish this! (Goal in life: Finish things you start!)

5. I love the people in my life. I love my family, Every single stinking one of the. I would not be the person I am today without the trials I had growing up. I love my Dad, he may never read this, but I love you Dad. I'm sorry for any problems I have caused. Although we may not get along in any form of the word, you are my Father, and a GREAT one at that. You have shaped me to be much more than I ever imagine. and to my Mother, thank you for supporting my every decision, even the ones you weren't so keen on. I love being the oldest. It is so wonderful to know so many beautiful spirits sent from God to be with this family. I am trully privilaged in a way most do not understand. I love my (future) extended family. The Forciea family has taught me so much. I no longer need to care about what others think (I sometimes still do...) The only thing that matters is me and God. Secondly they taught me to relax. Zach especially has taught me that life is not a rush to the end. Rather it is something to enjoy, suprises and all. I am thankful they like me, it would really suck not be liked by the family of the man I love. :D. and lastly I love those who are my friends. Many have helped shape who I am today, challenging me with problems, and teaching me through example.

6. I have realized I want to get sealed in the temple.

I am not an active member, and my faith is tried greatly, but I know families should be forever, and I want my future family to be forever. I can't imagine a world without the one's I love dearly.

7. I am going to start bloggin more.

I hope you enjoyed?

Confusion

It feels like every couple of months I go through this problem.
Where am I going in life?
What do I want to do with my life?
How am I going to get there? and Enjoy it on the way?

I don't seem to be able to finish anything I start, I've (maybe) finished 1 journal, homework assignments, and quick spirnt things, but never have I been able to really change and do something, accomplish something big. That is probubly why I am still over weight. I don't have the patience to work day by day to change. It's the hardest thing for me to be patient. let things just happen. I want things to happen NOW, I want change to begin IMMEDIATLY. I can't stand waiting and waiting and waiting. Big problem in my life.
Why did I drop out of college after 1 sememster? I missed Zach, I felt like I didn't have any friends, I was bored of school, I didn't have the money, I wouldn't take out a loan, I didn't have a car, good cell service, and the list went on. Why did I go back to college for summer? I was bored, I wanted to move out of the house, I hated hated hated my job, and I wanted to get my associates. Now almost finished with summer school I am once again feeling the same feelings but also mixed in is the feeling of heading in the wrong direction.
Is college even worth it? I am a smart, hard working, driven individual and I can't even figure out what I want to do carreer wise. It's very agrivating.
I'm sick of not knowing where I am going in life.
Am I going to become a teacher, a firefighter, an emt, a dental assistant, a stay at home mom, a writer, a photographer, an artist, a hobo. I don't know. and with that I have no idea if college is the right thing. It sucks not knowing where everything is going. If I want to become a photographer shouldn't I be taking a vocational approach? looking for people to intern with, charging for photography and working towards learning more about photoshop, manipulation etc? I just don't know.

I'm seriously lost.